This Thing Called Life

     Today I went in for my EEG and MRI. I haven't had them since middle school so it was a tad bit nerve wracking. The good news is that it is over and done with so now I just have to wait until my neurology appointment to hear the results. I'm hoping they will be able to diagnose me and give me medications so I can continue on with my life. Once you have an episode (seizure), you have this lingering fear in the back of your mind that it might happen again. Anxiety rages through my body as I sit and wonder what if. What if I have another one at clinical? What if I have one at McDonald's? Would the people around me know what to do? All of these questions flood my mind while I try controlling my breathing and quickly try to get rid of the thought.The one thing I do keep telling myself is that no matter what the outcome or diagnose is, I will not let this hinder me from reaching my goals of becoming a nurse, wife, and mother some day. Yea it may be challenging for six months

     Two weeks ago the most embarrassing thing ever happened to me at clinical. I had a seizure in front of my classmates, instructors, and everyone working on the unit at the clinical site. I was mortified when I came out of my episode. I have never cried so much in my life due to embarassment.      Seizing in front of my class, which did not know I've had them before, meant that I had A LOT of explaining and apologizing to do. My classmates were freaked out, who could blame them? I know I should of at least mentioned I've had them before but because I hadn't had one in so long, I figured I would be fine. So with this happening technically on school grounds and in the school setting, meant that I had to go to the ER and get checked out and also get cleared to go back to work and school.       Seizures are not fun. Even though mine only last for 20-30 seconds, it feels like an hour. Your body is so weak and you feel so drained because all of your muscles were tensed up.