Six Month Struggle
Two weeks ago the most embarrassing thing ever happened to me at clinical. I had a seizure in front of my classmates, instructors, and everyone working on the unit at the clinical site. I was mortified when I came out of my episode. I have never cried so much in my life due to embarassment.
Seizing in front of my class, which did not know I've had them before, meant that I had A LOT of explaining and apologizing to do. My classmates were freaked out, who could blame them? I know I should of at least mentioned I've had them before but because I hadn't had one in so long, I figured I would be fine. So with this happening technically on school grounds and in the school setting, meant that I had to go to the ER and get checked out and also get cleared to go back to work and school.
Seizures are not fun. Even though mine only last for 20-30 seconds, it feels like an hour. Your body is so weak and you feel so drained because all of your muscles were tensed up. I always look at it as the way my body reboots kind of like a computer needing updates. They are scary and most people who have them will tell you that just the word "seizure" in general makes them feel weird. I feel like a freak.
My first seizure occurred when I was three and then I had some more in middle school. I was completely fine in high school and then I had one Christmas Eve 2014, and now this one. I was never diagnosed with epilepsy nor was I prescribed any medications. The doctors could never figure out what caused them, so I went on with life
For those of you not familiar with Virginia laws, it is mandatory that when someone seizes, blacks out, or has fainting spells, that they cannot drive for six months. And when I went to the neurologist and heard him say this, I was not only pissed, but I felt that one of my most important rights and privileges had been ripped from my hands. I have to drive to school, clinical, and work. How am I supposed to pay bills? Do they know how frustrating it is to coordinate rides with everyone kin to me and asking my close friends for a lift? Hearing those words stressed me out more than anything.
Since I cannot drive as of now, my main priority is getting a ride to school and to my clinical since that is my future career. My job is about 30 minutes away and due to the distance, I only work when they absolutely need me. I can't afford to keep paying people gas money to take me all around the city. But on the plus side, I do have an interview next week about 10 minutes from my house and I can ride my bike. It is hard to look for positives in such a frustrating situation, but I'm trying.
So now as I prepare for my MRI and EEG Monday, I can only hope and pray everything works out for the best and I am given medication to control my episodes. I don't ever want to have another seizure again, especially in front of a crowd of people. For the next six months, I will pretend my name is Daisy and let everyone willing to help me chauffeur me around to the places I need to be until I am cleared to drive again and take back my busy life.
Seizing in front of my class, which did not know I've had them before, meant that I had A LOT of explaining and apologizing to do. My classmates were freaked out, who could blame them? I know I should of at least mentioned I've had them before but because I hadn't had one in so long, I figured I would be fine. So with this happening technically on school grounds and in the school setting, meant that I had to go to the ER and get checked out and also get cleared to go back to work and school.
Seizures are not fun. Even though mine only last for 20-30 seconds, it feels like an hour. Your body is so weak and you feel so drained because all of your muscles were tensed up. I always look at it as the way my body reboots kind of like a computer needing updates. They are scary and most people who have them will tell you that just the word "seizure" in general makes them feel weird. I feel like a freak.
My first seizure occurred when I was three and then I had some more in middle school. I was completely fine in high school and then I had one Christmas Eve 2014, and now this one. I was never diagnosed with epilepsy nor was I prescribed any medications. The doctors could never figure out what caused them, so I went on with life
For those of you not familiar with Virginia laws, it is mandatory that when someone seizes, blacks out, or has fainting spells, that they cannot drive for six months. And when I went to the neurologist and heard him say this, I was not only pissed, but I felt that one of my most important rights and privileges had been ripped from my hands. I have to drive to school, clinical, and work. How am I supposed to pay bills? Do they know how frustrating it is to coordinate rides with everyone kin to me and asking my close friends for a lift? Hearing those words stressed me out more than anything.
Since I cannot drive as of now, my main priority is getting a ride to school and to my clinical since that is my future career. My job is about 30 minutes away and due to the distance, I only work when they absolutely need me. I can't afford to keep paying people gas money to take me all around the city. But on the plus side, I do have an interview next week about 10 minutes from my house and I can ride my bike. It is hard to look for positives in such a frustrating situation, but I'm trying.
So now as I prepare for my MRI and EEG Monday, I can only hope and pray everything works out for the best and I am given medication to control my episodes. I don't ever want to have another seizure again, especially in front of a crowd of people. For the next six months, I will pretend my name is Daisy and let everyone willing to help me chauffeur me around to the places I need to be until I am cleared to drive again and take back my busy life.
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