This Thing Called Life

     When I first got dumped I put on this front like I'm okay but in reality I'm not. I was drinking alcohol like a fish, taking Xanax when I didn't need it, and I was seeking attention from guys for all of the wrong reasons. I'm miserable. I feel like no one wants me and I'm going to die alone. All I do is work and to occupy my time and mind I've been trying to find another part time job just so I can be around people and feel less pathetic. It completely sucks when you love someone and give them your all and then they just leave you like you never mattered or even existed in their life. The truth of the matter is that I'm not ready to move on or meet guys. I don't even want a booty call. I want to share life with someone and build memories. I want to get married some day and have kids. At this point in my life, which is a really low point, I feel like none of that will ever happen because no one wants me. I'm depressed but I haven't resorted b...

     Spending two years of your life with someone and having them just up and leave you is hard. When my boyfriend first left me two weeks ago I went through the first phase of grieving, sadness. All of our memories, future plans, favorite places to eat, and movie nights were gone. All of the trips we took together meant nothing. Then I got angry. How can he "love" me then just leave. No couple is perfect we had our fair share of issues, but I know that no matter what someone goes through, you don't just leave them like a bag of trash on the side of the road. My intuition told me that he would leave and go home once he was out of the military but I didn't want my gut to be right. I thought he was the one. I thought we would start a life together. I was faithful the whole two years and some change, including an eight month deployment and every under way. And this is what I get. No notice that he was even thinking about going home. I have to pinch my pennies to pay all ...