This Thing Called Life

     For almost four months now I have been hanging out with this guy. He is very nice, works hard, and he is also going to school for a couple of degrees. We have a great time when we are together but we are still not "officially" labeled girlfriend and boyfriend. I'm not sure if he is making sure he wants to be in a relationship with me (I can be crazy and weird) or if he doesn't know how to tell me that he wants to be just friends/friends with benefits. Honestly I'm not trying to rush into a relationship or anything but it would be nice to know what he is thinking. I don't ask because I don't want to seem clingy or needy. But at the same time I don't want to waste my time developing feelings for someone when they don't feel the same way. Should I ask? Should I wait on him? I'm kind of lost. I'm not sure what to do.

     The other day I went to Barnes and Noble with the guy I'm currently dating so he could pick up textbooks for his new semester and it made me sad that I was no longer in school. After LPN school I kept telling people it drained me and that it would be too expensive to go back. Plus I feared my anxiety and depression would hold me back. But today I looked at the college site that currently offers the LPN to BSN program I've always wanted to attend and I have decided I will go back and get my Bachelors because that has been my long term career goal for the longest time. Yes, that means more loans, care plans, tears, stress, and hair pulling but I will do it. My plan is to pay off my community college, enroll again, take the placement tests, and knock out the prerequisites I need to apply to the BSN program. My plan after paying off my community college is to ask if I can have Mondays and Wednesdays off or Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can take more than one class to get them do

     Due to having so many bills along with my student loan payments, I had to deposit the $70 I was saving for myself in order to stay afloat after paying rent and power. Work has it's good days and bad, mostly bad and stressful since we are short staffed and new rules are always being created for us to follow. I've been searching for a second job to work part time to help me save money and fix things around my house. I have two leaks in my roof, my car needs tires and a windshield, and I need a new front door to my house since my current one is rotting. No ones life is stress free but once some of my loans get paid off and I fix things around my house, I will be able to sleep better. Until then I will be constantly stressing every month wondering if my checks will be enough to cover bills, put gas in my car, and food in my stomach.