This Thing Called Life

     This is the end of my second week in my new Triage role. At the end of the day, nursing is nursing but you still learn new things every day. Each day I clock in and check the messages, refill requests, prior authorization forms, and voicemails from patients. Throughout the day patients will call in and each call varies. Some patients are calling because they are in labor, have a UTI, yeast infection or BV. Other calls coming in are for pap results, genetic testing, ultrasounds, and biopsies. Everything I do from my desk is what I used to do on the floor. I assess patient symptoms over the phone and decide whether they need to try over the counter treatment, come in for an appointment, go to an Urgent Care, or head to to the emergency room.       At first when I accepted this position, I didn't know how it would play out. I'm used to running around doing multiple things at one time and always being busy. Surprisingly this is amazing. I'm not running ragged on the floor

      Lately I have been feeling like I am done being a nurse. Patients are rude, non-compliant, and have no respect or idea how hard nursing actually is. They show up late for their appointments and sometimes they don't even call to cancel they just don't show. They don't get labs done, scans done, or comply with diets we give them to help improve their conditions. The work load that comes with nursing is also stressful and frustrating. Constantly being told that there is new documentation that needs to be done in the patients chart as if what is already done isn't enough, drawing blood, random EKGs, answering phone calls, calling in prescriptions, prior authorizations for medications, scheduling and canceling appointments, referrals, and there is much more I'm probably missing.      When I went on vacation last week for an ENTIRE week, it made me realize there is so much more to life than working all the time and caring for patients who have no self respect and no

     Recently I have really been struggling with my anxiety and depression. I work with two doctors by myself and I am also the phlebotomist.I'm literally working just to pay bills. I have never been able to enjoy a check and spend it on whatever I want.  I try to vent my feelings to my boyfriend he turns everything around on me and makes me out to be the bad person for feeling that way or he disregards my feelings and starts talking about his. He seems like a narcissist which I'm looking more into. I have been through a lot in the last 5 years and they have been the worst 5 years of my life. I try to explain to him how I'm different mentally but he never listens. It is a waste of time for me to continue trying to explain how I feel or why I act the way I do. In between trying to live life on the daily I am also trying to be healthier and workout instead of placing myself on the back burner. I'm just so overwhelmed. I constantly battle these demons in my head. I have no