First Holiday

     Thanksgiving and Christmas this year will be the first of many holidays without my Memaw. It's going to be hard. I try to be happy when I see the decorations and sale ads but deep down I'm only worrying about how I will act on these days. This is the first time in my life that my mom and I won't meet there to give her Thanksgiving dinner that we made. We won't meet there Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and watch her open hers. When my Memaw could no longer get out, my mom would buy things for Christmas to my brother and I from  "Memaw" even though my mom would buy it and wrap it. I would open it and say thank you to her and she would say "Oh I got you that? How nice". There will be none of that. I've already apologized and warned my family that I may not be myself during the holidays this year or next, but I'm going to try and be happy because I know that is what my Memaw would want.
     The hard part about holiday shopping now is seeing things that I would have gotten her. I've seen many coffee mugs she would of loved and she loved body sprays. She also loved her Hershey bar with almonds, which coincidentally is my favorite candy too. I'm so grateful to have shared my whole life with her and having her impact mine. She is the reason I'm a better person. She is the reason I don't judge others before getting to know them. And she is also the main reason I've become more involved in helping my community. I know she was proud of me here on Earth and I know she is always watching over me. I can only hope she is there with me during the rough times I will have during Thanksgiving dinner this year and Christmas.

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