This Thing Called Life

     Lately I have been really wanting to go back to school. It has always been my ultimate goal to have my BSN. I have worked my way from a CNA to a LPN and now I am wanting to go back for my RN. But I've been asking myself if I really want to deal with the stress, studying, early clinicals, and case studies. Plus I'm horrible at math and I know there is going to be math on the placement exam for the program. Another lady I went to LPN school is debating about the same thing. She wants to go back to the school we graduated from but it is so much money since they are a for-profit school. Good universities in my area want statistics, chemistry, and college algebra. Those classes alone would take me forever because math is my worst enemy. I don't even want to go back just for higher pay (although that is a plus). I want to be able to tell people I'm a RN when they ask what I do or what I am. It's always been my number one goal and I think I need to start truly decidin...

     We all know I am the queen of taking social media breaks but never sticking to them. I have decided that on February 1st, I will take ANOTHER break from social media to focus on my weight loss and healthy eating habits. I have took a before picture on January 1st and I plan to take this break for 117 days. Why 117 days you ask? Because if I start this break on the first and last 117 days, it will be Memorial Day and that is when everyone officially breaks out the bikinis and open the pools and beaches. I'm not expecting major results since I just got back into these healthier habits, but I'd like to see what type of progress I can make without distractions. I have noticed I often find myself comparing my body to the bodies of celebrities I see on my news feed or while I'm scrolling through my Instagram. It makes me feel like I have an overwhelming amount of work to do and I don't want to rush. I also don;t want to stress myself out about this weight loss stuff sinc...

     After work on Saturday, I had the random urge to finally go to the gym and I am proud to say that today was my third day going in a row! I think I have finally conquered my fear of going to the gym since my anxiety is under control. This is something I have been wanting to do again for the last year and half. I basically told myself on the way to the gym that these are people and I am a person. No one is here to judge me or hurt me. We are all here at the gym for the same reasons: to look good naked and look good this summer. Through positive self talk and focusing on myself, especially my breathing, I did what I set out to do. Anxiety is all a mind game. You have to stay focused and remember that it is mind over matter. The thoughts that anxiety creates inside the mind of someone suffering from it are all made up. They are silly. They mean nothing. These thoughts are there to do what anxiety is made for which is hyping someone up and making them breathe too fast, ge...

     At the beginning of this month, I was serious about starting my health journey over again. I bought a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables and started cooking more chicken to help me stay on track. The worst part about trying to get healthy again after battling the ups and downs life throws at us is trying to be serious and get back in the rhythm. I was working out 3, 4, sometimes 5 days a week up until recently when something happened to my back. I don't know if my form was bad when doing planks or mountain climbers or if I didn't warm up enough, but my back has killed me for the last several days. Working out and eating healthy isn't a problem for me since I love sweating and feeling bad ass after a workout. I could live off of fruits, vegetables, and salads, It's what I eat in between my workouts and healthy meals that is keeping me from reaching my goals. I have a horrible habit of buying Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts coffee even if I brew coffee before work at my h...