This Thing Called Life

For some strange reason, a huge thing I am obsessed with is Cupcakes. I don't know what it is. I love baking them, decorating them, collecting them and anything else that involves them. If you ever want to make my day 1,000 times better, bring me a cupcake or anything associated with them. Another thing I am overly obsessed with is leopard and zebra print. I have always like zebra but leopard became part of it too. I just love the print for some reason. My car even has a zebra steering wheel cover and seat covers. Penguins. They are cute, short and make weird noises. I love them. Don't ask me what it is I love about them I just love them. Same goes with turtles, especially sea turtles. As I write this, I feel like a weirdo. These obsessions are better than drugs or alcohol, but it still makes me feel weird that anytime I see a cupcake or turtle I get all giddy with excitement and I just have to have them!

I finally bought another jump rope yesterday. I want to try and jump rope for 30 minutes straight. Burning 11 calories a minute isn't so bad. If you jump rope for an hour straight, you can burn up to 660 calories, which for me is half my daily calorie intake. Burning some calories is better than burning none and I want to better this summer than I did last year. Hopefully I can lose at least 15 pounds before summer. And even if I only lose 10, I will still be happy knowing that I made some progress.

The other day when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained back the weight I lost, I was so angry. I have completely changed my eating habits and I know that I can do this. I want a good looking body more than anything. I'm so tired of being self conscious when I'm walking, wondering if people are watching my thighs jiggle or looking at how fat my ass is. My ultimate goal is to wear and walk around in just my bikini not worrying about how I look. People that have fast metabolisms that burn food as soon as they eat it are lucky. They have no idea how it feels to shop for certain types of clothes to cover areas that make you feel like a whale. I have never been comfortable with my body and for once in my life I want to say "Damn I look good." I know that it is going to be hard work, but it will definitely be worth it once I reach my goal. Plus I really want my belly button pierced. I had lost 3 pounds and gained it. I was so close to losing the 5 I had said I h

I have kind of given up. I have no time for the gym/working out like I want to. I still try to make better choices on my foods and portion sizes. It gets annoying when you try so hard to lose some weight and then when you step on the scale, you either didn't lose any or you lost 2 or 3 pounds at the most. I wish after exercising and eating right results were instant. It makes me feel hopeless when I try so hard and get no where. Maybe there is something wrong with my thyroid gland or something. I rarely ever eat junk food. The other day I bought the small bag of flaming hot Cheetos from 7-11 and I snacked on them for 3 days. If I was my old self, (which I'm trying not to be again), I would have eaten the whole bag as soon as I bought it. I honestly hate my body. I always try to encourage everyone to love themselves but I'm truly unhappy with the way I look. When I look at my disgusting legs and fat stomach I want to cry. But I know crying won't shed the flab. For onc

May 26 couldn't come any sooner! I am so ready to cut my hair for Locks of Love. I haven't had a haircut in years. My mom trims my hair every now and then and sometimes I just want to tell her to cut it all off and we will send it now. I don't exactly know why I chose the 26 of May as my cut off date. I guess that is a good time right before summer starts. I plan to alternate between donations. This year, I will give my hair to Locks of Love, and the next time I grow it out to cut will be for Wigs for Kids. I really encourage anyone who has all natural hair to donate to these causes. It gives someone their confidence back and it is better than your hair being thrown in the trash. The minimum length is 10 inches for layered hair which is what I have. Last time I measured, my longest layer was 13 inches. I thought I would cry or be nervous when I cut it, but I'm to the point now where I'm just over my hair because it is so long. I can't wait!