This Thing Called Life

I start Chemistry this fall at community college so that I can apply to  a University nursing school. I have set some academic goals for myself this semester. Even though I suck at math, I really want to try and excel in Chemistry so that when I take college Chemistry, I will kind of know what I'm doing. My academic goals are as follows: Have at LEAST a "B" average  STUDY Never miss a class Ask for help when I need it Be interested in it, since I will be taking it for a whole semester Enjoy it, Learning is FUN Do not fail this class. It will show up on my transcripts :/ I never took Chemistry in high school and Algebra and I do not get along. But I believe in myself and I want to go to nursing school so bad that I know I can achieve these goals as long as I put my mind to it.

I have been working full time at the job I'm currently at for about 2 years now. The pay is great and so are my co-workers. But why did I choose to work full time after high school? No one told me I had to work almost everyday. I guess I chose to take the job because at the time I needed a better one with better pay. When it came time to register for some community college classes, I knew I would have to go part time because of my work schedule. Which is what I did since I wanted to apply to a nursing program at Sentara. I did very well during my first semester and made decent grades. Yesterday evening I went to an informational session about Hampton University's Nursing School. I loved what the adviser talked about. It made me so excited and I would rather go there since it is closer. But since that program was under revision, Chemistry is REQUIRED. I never took any AP classes or any other types of classes in high school that would eventually transfer over to a college. I suck

For the record, I do not have any issues with super skinny or super big people, but this is just something that I see and it kind of bothers me. I see a lot of pictures on the internet, in magazines, and on t.v commercials with all of these really skinny girls. But what about "big" girls who aren't made to be a size 2 or 00? Not every girl in the world is attractive without curves  and to some people girls with curves are gross. Who came up with the idea that being skinny is the only way to be accepted by society? Whatever happened to meeting someone and deciding to be-friend them by their personality or character instead of their weight? I'm saying all of this because my weight loss goal is absolutely NOT becoming a size 2 or even a 5 for that matter. When I lose all of this unnecessary weight, I want to be a 9, maybe even a 7. But I want to keep my ass and my boobs. I was never ashamed of being the size I was/still am, I just wanted to be fit and healthy. I've a

I know one of my goals this month wasn't to weigh in until the last week or day, but I really wanted to know if I had made any progress at all. I haven't. It is because I binge. The other day my boyfriend and I went to red lobster...that was dumb. But I didn't even really eat that much. I got the popcorn shrimp with broccoli and side salad. I ate all the salad, almost all of the broccoli, and there were tons of shrimps left over. There have been other days too. I don't know why I think it's okay to eat this crap when I'm trying to LOSE weight. I'm so excited about nursing school, maybe that is why I'm eating all of these no-no foods. It may also be because I have stopped exercising as much as I want to. I wanted to start jogging or going to the gym, but I would have to go by myself and I don't want to look weird or anything jogging all alone. Plus I don't want to get snatched up by some creep. I was so determined to have some one go

I go to open house for nursing school in 8 days! I am so excited to have such a positive change in my life. Later this week I will be having a yard sale to hopefully make some money to put towards school. I've been saving here and there for a little while because I knew I would need money for community college, so since I'm transferring from there I will use that money too. The more I save and pay out of pocket, the better. Loans scare me but that is the only way to go since I'm not rich and neither are my parents. My only obstacle left to over come is finding a decent part time that pays pretty well and that will work with my schedule. I have always loved retail so maybe I can find a job at the mall or something. I would love to try serving or be a waitress but most places want people who are experienced. Luckily for me, I have barely any bills. I have to pay my phone bill, credit card bill, and have money for gas and car repairs. That's it. Thankfully my parents don&#

Last night my brother offered to take me to Planet Fitness for the first time ever. I was like sure okay. So we got ready and when we pulled into the parking lot we drove by to see how crowded it was inside. As usual my self esteem issues got the best of me. I chickened myself out of going and I think my brother was angry, which is understandable. But he is built. He isn't bigger like me. We went home and I rode my elliptical for 30 minutes. After, I cried. I don't know if I cried because I was angry for not going in there or if I cried because I felt like giving up, or both. I put up this front to everyone around me like I don't care what people think of me, but obviously deep down I do. I guess I was scared that those thin, fit girls running on the treadmills would have looked at me like I was a cow or like I wasn't going to do good. I don't know. What I do know, is that I need to get over my fear of people judging me and go in there and exercise like a

I ordered my work out shoes that I wanted oh so badly from Kohls. I hope they fit nicely. Since the Tumblr community I follow for weight loss has decided that there will be NO weighing in this month, I have had to keep myself occupied since I'm used to weighing myself at least twice a week. I hope that by not weighing in on a daily basis that my results will be better. This weekend I plan on chilling on the beach and maybe getting some exercise by riding my bike around for a while. I had about half of a Taco Bell Veggie Cantina Bowl yesterday and to my surprise I just didn't want to continue eating it. It was good, I just felt like crap eating it. I do not miss fast food at all. I am perfectly fine without it and I hope to continue not eating it in the ways that I used too.