Near the End

     Watching someone change into someone they are not so quickly is really hard. Thinking back to times when my grandma would remember to call her cousin and sister or make a grocery list every Wednesday for my mother to pick up for her are all in the past. Dementia has taken over. My grandma has a whole entire new mindset. Why? Why did this disease choose someone so sweet, kind, and loving? Why can't there be medicine to save her memory and remember me forever? Visiting her in the nursing home and seeing the state she is in, only makes me think of every good memory I've had. I'll also never forget the day that changed the way we cared for my grandma for ever.
     I was younger, maybe 15 or 16 years old. I was in the yard beside my Memaws house playing football with the neighborhood kids. Through all the yelling and shouting, I heard a smoke alarm so I told every one to shut up. I knew when I heard the alarm clearly, that it was my grandmas. I bolted over to her house and went inside. I looked at her sitting in her chair watching tv and looked on the stove. She boiled some eggs and forgot about them for so long that all of the water had evaporated and the eggs were smoldering on the bottom of the pan. I asked if she remembered boiling them and she said she had forgotten them, which could be normal because sometimes people forget. I alerted my mom and that day, we took the knobs off of her stove just to be safe.
     After the egg incident, the only other cooking mishaps that happened were made using the microwave. One day I went there and she had put milk in there for at least 5 minutes because when I looked in it and took it out, the milk was like a hard film all over the cup. She would also forget about frozen meals she tried cooking for herself, so I tried to be there to feed her as much as possible. Along with all of the "forgetful cooking" came conversations involving the same questions. At first, I thought maybe she forgot she asked me if I worked today or if the weather is nice. But then I started realizing that she would ask me the SAME exact questions but in a different order every time. Did you work today? Are you at moms or dads? Where is Tyler? Is it cold outside? Those questions will always remain in my mind because those were the only questions involved in the last real conversations I had with her until this point.
     Deterioration of the mind is a hard thing to overcome. Her mind will only get worse from here. I've told my mother to prepare herself for the day when we go there and she has no idea who we are. It's going to happen. This disease is horrid. It's very sad and depressing thinking back to the person she used to be and seeing who she is now. Her body is hers, but her mind is not. We know that she is near the end of her life. There is nothing we can do about it. The disease has done what it has done and will continue to destroy her mind. I'll always love her even if she asked me the same questions every day I went to visit or wanted cold milk and something to eat. I didn't care. I love her and would do anything for her. I was patient with her because I didn't want her to think she was crazy or losing it. Now we can only be there for her and make sure she is comfortable.