Duties of A Room Nurse


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I Feel Different.

     September was a horrible month. My grandmas health declined terribly and she ended up passing away. I feel as if part of my heart has been torn out of my chest. I don't have energy, I'm not as happy as I used to be, and I feel different. I don't know what this feeling is. I don't know if it is anger, sadness, or depression. Maybe it is guilt. I feel so guilty that I didn't quit my job to live with my grandma to take care of her. I should of done so because that is what my gut told me to do. It's normal to feel different after someone passes who was such an inspiration to you right? I'm allowed to randomly break down and cry or get happy when I see things she loved right? How do I deal with this? Every night I tell her goodnight and tell her how lonely I feel. She isn't there to ask me about the weather or if I'm still in college. She isn't sitting in her chair waiting for me to walk in her door so she can call me darling. I just feel differe...
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Rolling Coins

     Desperate times call for desperate measures! I finally sat down today after class to roll some coins for food and gas money because I'm tired of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. I only rolled $30 worth because I get paid Wednesday but that whole paycheck is going to pay my car insurance. This month I am going to have to defer my car payment (if they will even let me since I had to last year due to lack of money) because now my next paycheck will not be issued until July. It is embarrassing to have to call them and say that I'm a broke student doing the best I can working part time. I am so over the struggle. This really sucks. I have even thought about picking up evenings again for a few hours if my work needs me just to have that little extra something on my check so I won't have to stoop as low as rolling coins.
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