This Thing Called Life

     Mondays suck. I have never liked them like most people. I always refer to them as "Manic Monday" because 99% of the time, they are. We started our new clinical rotation today and that really made me question if I want to continue this nursing school boot camp. We pretty much do everything a CNA does and I would know because I am one. I decided to go to nursing school to do more but it seems like anytime we have a rotation, I feel like I'm at work. We don't pass medications, do treatments, or anything accept bed baths, brief changes, and transfers. Aside from complaining about that, I also decided I am tired of this "full time student" struggle. I hate eating Ramen and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches most nights. I want to be able to buy real food. I want to buy the healthy foods I love like salad mix, fresh fruits, and vegetables. It sucks when you want to eat healthy food but can't afford it so you eat whatever is lurking in your cabinets or pan...

     For this being my first military relationship, I'd say I do fairly well. I got used to the 2 week under ways and duty days quickly. It is all apart of his job. But this is my first deployment and his as well. It gets very lonely and boring not having him here to play around with me or lay in bed with me. I always make it home before him and  would sit on my porch waiting for his truck to turn the corner. I miss picking up after him, doing his laundry and riding everywhere with him. I miss cooking for him and going out to eat. I miss snuggling in bed and watching Netflix while we eat doughnut holes and drink milk. But the biggest thing I miss is hearing his footsteps throughout the house and having him hold me. I just want to be held. I know when his homecoming is finally here, I will not be able to contain my excitement. I will hoard him away from the world for days just so I can smell him, hold him, kiss him, and love him.

     Life is always going to throw curve balls, sometimes when we least expect it. The one thing I have learned after facing all of the challenges I've been through in just 24 years of life is to never give up. The curve balls life has thrown at me throughout the years is the main reason I strive to be independent and work hard. No matter what goals I set for myself, I work hard to make those around me proud and especially myself. Some months, I don't even know how I'm going to put gas in my car or pay my car note. Amazingly it all works out some how and it falls into place. I keep telling myself I'm doing what I can. I'm going to school to better myself, have an amazing career, and help those in need. I love school. I love being a CNA. I love depending on myself to pay my bills and put food in my gut. Once I'm a nurse and I actually make a decent wage per hour, most of my financial stress will go away. We all have those days when we want to quit, give up, or th...

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     The end of another term has arrived! This was one of the best terms since the start of my program. I learned so much. Next term to conquer is Cardiac which starts on Monday. I am 185 days closer to graduating and being able to hopefully pass the nclex on the first try :)

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     Hey guys! I thought I would make a video explaining Perfectly Posh a little bit more and also share my excitement! Since signing up, this is all I talk about and I cannot wait to get my consultant kit. I've only been on board for like 5 days and I have sold $41 worth of products! This is going to be a great opportunity and you should join. I have a legit website now: http://poshandconquer.com/ and I also have a Facebook page you can like to keep up with sales, featured item of the week, and new products: https://www.facebook.com/poshandconquer Thanks for watching :)

     Today I have had no motivation to do anything. I cleaned a little bit but that is all. The worst is that I have eaten my feelings all day and I'm slowly sinking into a depressive phase. I go through these phases sometimes and I always manage to get myself out eventually. There are many reason why I'm feeling depressed and lonely. My boyfriend is deployed, I am legally not allowed to drive for the next four months due to my neurological issues, and tonight I realized I have absolutely no friends. Yes I have my family and I love them, but that is all I have. I don't have any girlfriends (or guy friends for that matter) to call and say "hey let's go out" or "let's grab lunch". It's literally just me. The only good thing about being a loner is that I have all the time in the world to focus on myself and school, which is pretty important. But there are times, like tonight, where I feel like being social and want to go out and dance and grab s...

     Working a dead end job gets old and it can get old quick. A lot of stay at home moms want to make extra income but don't know how. A lot of college students want to work while in school but can't because their grades will drop. I debated joining this company and I finally bit the bullet and bought a Perfectly Posh consultant kit. For those of you who have never heard of this company, let me give you a little bit of background. The company is based out of Utah and they do not test their products on animals. Their products are also naturally based from ingredients that come from essential oils, fruits, and plants. Every item is under $25 so you can get quality skin care for a good price.      So why did I finally join? Well, for starters the packaging of the products alone makes me want to buy them. I also want to promote products that are great for your skin because I have had my issues with acne and dryness. The kit is pricey, especially to a full tim...

     At some point in just about every ones life, we need extra money to get by. Whether it's for bills, car maintenance, or food. With me being a full time student and having a recent medical issue, I'm down on my luck and need cash now. So without further a due, I'm going to offer some information about an affiliate program that I joined and I think you guys would like it too.      So first things first. This program will allow you to work from the comfort of your own home or the Starbucks cafe nearest you, which ever you prefer. You are given a free website and the software with your back office with all of your affiliate links for free as well. Commission is paid via PayPal only and payday is EVERY Friday. Who wouldn't want to get paid each week, right before the weekend? Exactly. You receive a commission for selling the gifts as well as signing up members on your sales team. There are plenty of Facebook groups as well to help answer any questions...

     Today I went to my follow up appointment at my neurologist. My MRI and EEG came back normal. I have no bleeding, lesions, masses, or tumors. He also said my brain waves were normal and that no epileptic activity was recorded. The only bad news out of this visit was that I still have to wait 4 more months before I can be cleared to drive again and that if I was not medicated, then of course I will have recurrent seizures throughout my life whether it be tomorrow, next month, or next year. So he prescribed Keppra. It is a common drug for epileptics and he said it is the most popular. Another good thing about this drug is that it will also help with my anxiety he said since I have become increasingly anxious since my last episode. So all in all, the visit was not as bad as I thought since I always think of the worst. I guess I can call myself a "partial" epileptic since my episodes are so spaced out. Have a great weekend.

     Today was a very productive day. I mailed my boyfriends care package and Valentines Day card and then later I went with my Aunt to sign up at Planet Fitness! I was so excited to sign up. I have never really been a gym member before. I had a card for the rec center but I used that primarily for swimming, not working out. We paid $39 down and it will be $10 a month from here on out. We received a t-shirt, sticker, and pen. We also got a schedule for the personal trainer they offer (for free) 5 days a week. WE both walked briskly on the treadmill for 30 minutes then we walked on the stair climber for 10. This is a good start for me since I want to lose about 5 more pounds and be in shape before my boyfriend comes home from deployment in June. My Aunts motivation is her kids. Her son graduates law school in May and she is flying there to see him walk across the stage. His sister will also be there and they have no idea she wants to shed some pounds and get in better...