Sobby Saturday

     Today I have had no motivation to do anything. I cleaned a little bit but that is all. The worst is that I have eaten my feelings all day and I'm slowly sinking into a depressive phase. I go through these phases sometimes and I always manage to get myself out eventually. There are many reason why I'm feeling depressed and lonely. My boyfriend is deployed, I am legally not allowed to drive for the next four months due to my neurological issues, and tonight I realized I have absolutely no friends. Yes I have my family and I love them, but that is all I have. I don't have any girlfriends (or guy friends for that matter) to call and say "hey let's go out" or "let's grab lunch". It's literally just me. The only good thing about being a loner is that I have all the time in the world to focus on myself and school, which is pretty important. But there are times, like tonight, where I feel like being social and want to go out and dance and grab some drinks. I realize now that the people I associated with in high school were only associates and not actually friends. I have not physically seen or talked to them since high school. I graduated 6 years ago. Hopefully when I'm done with school I can make more nursing friends or at least build some type of social life. I'm really just wanting my boyfriend because he is my everything.

Comments

  1. Student of lifeFebruary 15, 2016 at 3:58 PM

    I know what you are feeling. I had loads of "friends" in high school, but the moment I moved away, I had two left. One, who never has time to hang out because of her job and the other moved to another state. When I am feeling lonely, I head to the gym(which I saw you signed up for). At the gym, I feel powerful and I can control what I do and don't do. One thing that has helped me is grabbing my headphones, blaring some great music and just running(or walking) on the treadmill. Theres something about music and physical exertion that can clear your mind. There may be times you may not be able to make it to the gym in which case, I will say this. Step outside walk around in the beauty of nature, see how it flourishes through the seasons. Listen to the world around you and get lost in it. Im in school to be a teacher and I am not the social butterfly type, but i have classes with the same people and you just have to put yourself out there and say "you are going to be my new best friend because thats just how its going to work." (believe me it works, I have done it!) Last but not least, I will say when you are missing your boyfriend, just think of all the great times you have shared and just focus out that. Look at it in a positive light, you will see him and your relationship will be better and stronger having spent that time apart. I know how it feels to have a loved one deployed. Although, I never talk to him, I know he's doing great things for my country.

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    Replies
    1. AmbieFebruary 15, 2016 at 6:51 PM

      That is a good thing for me to do...use the gym to take out my emotions. Thanks for the tips. Good luck with school :)

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