I Want Self Confidence
Middle school and high school were tough for me. I was overweight but I was confident with myself until people starting being mean and making fun of my weight to my face. The bullying I endured over those years turned me into the bitch I am today. And I'm being honest. I know I'm a bitch. I'll be the first to admit it but it is because of jerks in school that made me this way. If they only knew how I felt when someone would moo at me or tell me I had thunder thighs. I honestly felt worthless. And to be honest, it hasn't gotten much better since I graduated in 2010. I still hear people whisper behind my back and guys will say "She got a fat ass" as if I don't know this. Maybe if they took the time to be nice to me they would know I'm trying to be healthier and work on my image.
I'm not obese I'm overweight, not that it is any better. Normal weight for my age and height is roughly 130-135 pounds. I weigh 152 pounds (150 on a good day). I'm trying. I've stopped eating fast food all the time and I've developed a love for hiking at my local state park. The old me would hate walking 6+ miles but I love it! I don't want to lose weight just to look good in a mini skirt, tank top, or bikini. I'm hoping that losing weight and being healthy will improve my self confidence and make me feel worthy. And to people out there who judge "big" or fat people, just know that making fun and judging doesn't help the problem. It makes us feel like shit and it makes some of us want to eat our feelings. I wish that the people in middle school and high could be fat for a week or two and see what it feels like. It's not fun and that is a total under statement.
Another thing I would like to address is how skinny or fit people feel they are entitled to judge a fat or overweight person. Some people have different priorities. There are different body types and people in general are their own person. I think people should judge others based on their character instead of their looks and weight. I may not be the most attractive person ever but I have a heart of gold. I love helping others and making people life. I also love sarcasm. That should be more important instead of whether or not I have huge boobs and a size 3 waist. I'm probably too hard on myself but this is truly how I feel and how I've felt since I was bullied in middle and high school. I know that myself and others are trying to be healthy and more fit than usual and that is what counts. From here on I am going to try to say something positive about myself each day. Hopefully that will make me feel more confident in myself.
I'm not obese I'm overweight, not that it is any better. Normal weight for my age and height is roughly 130-135 pounds. I weigh 152 pounds (150 on a good day). I'm trying. I've stopped eating fast food all the time and I've developed a love for hiking at my local state park. The old me would hate walking 6+ miles but I love it! I don't want to lose weight just to look good in a mini skirt, tank top, or bikini. I'm hoping that losing weight and being healthy will improve my self confidence and make me feel worthy. And to people out there who judge "big" or fat people, just know that making fun and judging doesn't help the problem. It makes us feel like shit and it makes some of us want to eat our feelings. I wish that the people in middle school and high could be fat for a week or two and see what it feels like. It's not fun and that is a total under statement.
Another thing I would like to address is how skinny or fit people feel they are entitled to judge a fat or overweight person. Some people have different priorities. There are different body types and people in general are their own person. I think people should judge others based on their character instead of their looks and weight. I may not be the most attractive person ever but I have a heart of gold. I love helping others and making people life. I also love sarcasm. That should be more important instead of whether or not I have huge boobs and a size 3 waist. I'm probably too hard on myself but this is truly how I feel and how I've felt since I was bullied in middle and high school. I know that myself and others are trying to be healthy and more fit than usual and that is what counts. From here on I am going to try to say something positive about myself each day. Hopefully that will make me feel more confident in myself.
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