Always Trust Your Gut Feeling

     For the last week or so, my boyfriend had started acting different toward me. He was agitated, seemed annoyed, and we weren't having sex at all. Today I kind of found the source for his distance. His mother had mailed his tablet since he left it at his parents house during our vacation. So being the nosy Nancy I am, I started snooping through his email and even tried getting into his Facebook. I found that he was sending himself screenshots of a girl that he had sexted before, about a year ago when we had just became a couple. With more digging, I found that he was getting nudes from other women while he was deployed as well. It bothers me that he is saving photos of this particular girl. I have been laying here in bed wondering what it is that makes her so special considering that they have never even met in person. Is my love not enough? Am I too fat and unattractive? Do I bore him? What does she have that I don't? This whole situation bothers me because for the last week I have been asking my boyfriend if there is anything wrong, anything he needs to tell me, is he happy with our relationship, and I even asked if he was talking to other women. This happened the first couple of times I caught him sexting other females. I know, you're probably asking why my crazy ass stayed with him. I forgave but I didn't forget and the only reason was because there was never any physical evidence he was cheating or spending any of his time with other women because he was always with me. I gave him plenty of chances to admit his wrongs. Each time this has happened, my gut has told me something isn't right. In any situation I find myself in, I always listen to my gut because each time it has told me something is wrong, it has been. So today after I found this out and him and I exchanged texts, I told him I was done. I don't deserve to be shut out and have to find stuff out like this the hard way. Just be honest with me. If I am not enough just tell me, don't go behind my back and try to find what you really long for. I was heartbroken when he did this before but now I am just bitter. This just makes me believe that once a cheater, you're always a cheater, whether it is physical or not. Relationships can suck and this type of situation makes them suck even more.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Duties As A SAHG (Stay At Home Girlfriend)

      Back in June of this year I left one of the most toxic places I have ever worked at. There were so many things going on that I will just leave it at that. If you would like more details, check out my YouTube channel  here.  I thought it would be a good time to give nursing a break and take a different career path. I applied at an auto insurance company and started about 4 weeks ago but ended up leaving. Sitting all ay, wearing a headset, and having more than 2 meetings to attend per day is not my cup of tea. I gave a two week notice and have been a stay at home girlfriend since. In the last two weeks I've sent out over 20 applications. One place called me for an interview and they never followed up after I met. An animal shelter offered me a position as well but unfortunately, $11 per hour will not pay my mortgage.  My boyfriend works very hard. He is a bodyman at an auto shop and he repairs some of the most wrecked cars I've ever seen. IT is only fair to him that I make
Read more

Triage Nurse Duties

     This is the end of my second week in my new Triage role. At the end of the day, nursing is nursing but you still learn new things every day. Each day I clock in and check the messages, refill requests, prior authorization forms, and voicemails from patients. Throughout the day patients will call in and each call varies. Some patients are calling because they are in labor, have a UTI, yeast infection or BV. Other calls coming in are for pap results, genetic testing, ultrasounds, and biopsies. Everything I do from my desk is what I used to do on the floor. I assess patient symptoms over the phone and decide whether they need to try over the counter treatment, come in for an appointment, go to an Urgent Care, or head to to the emergency room.       At first when I accepted this position, I didn't know how it would play out. I'm used to running around doing multiple things at one time and always being busy. Surprisingly this is amazing. I'm not running ragged on the floor
Read more

Step Away From the Cake

     It is so annoying that I work in a doctors office that continues to bring in cakes, sugary drinks, and junk food. Today and yesterday I have had two non scale victories. This morning the first thing out of the receptionist' mouth was "there is bundt cake in the break room". Dude it is not even 9 a.m. Yesterday the doctor I worked for brought bake slices of pie and cake from the hospital cafeteria and I kindly said no thank you and walked away. It frustrates me because every one who works in this office with me knows I have an eating problem and they know I joined Weight Watchers. I am so proud of myself for looking at that cake this morning and walking away when I easily could have eaten half of it. I felt pissed off when I walked in the break room and saw it. Yes, everything in moderation is ok, but not for someone who is already way over weight and trying to get their shit together. I will be okay. I will get through this. I can do this.
Read more