In Need of a New Pattern
Since I've decided to take the nurse aide course, I've been debating whether or not to keep working my desk job or find a job where I'm moving and interacting with people. I make good money here but there are some cons that come with working all day and taking part time night classes. The main issue is time. I go to school at the campus near my work in one city and after I have to drive home to another. It isn't too far (only like 25 minutes) but that will put a damper on my sleep in order to wake up for work the next morning at 6:30.
The main thing I've been telling myself to realize is what I'm getting the nurse aide certification for. It's so I can work in healthcare and be moving constantly and also to help people. So I don't plan on staying here forever and the program only takes a couple of months. So what I'm trying to decide is whether or not to stick it out until I get certified or take the nurse aide course during the day and work somewhere at night just to get by.
I've written before that if I continue to work full time during the day my lecture and clinical hours would be from 4:30 p.m. until 9:30 p.m. That means I wouldn't get home until about 10 p.m. and I would still have to shower, get ready for bed, work, etc. And it will take longer to get certified since it only 3 days a week. Then there is the other alternative. They offer a course Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. That would be better so I could shower and get ready for my evening job (if I find one). And I would also become certified faster.
As you can see, making decisions is not easy for me. I don't want to leave here and not be able to pay my bills with a night job. But I'm also tired of sitting on my ass all day and only talking to people over the phone. I look on Craigslist for an ideal job that would work with my schedule if I went to day school. As long as I can make money to pay my phone bill and put gas in my car, then I need to do what makes me happy. I tried to take off work today so I could get my car worked on and have some time to myself but of course my boss acts like that can't happen.
The issue with my job is the fact that no one knows how to work Quickbooks properly. So if I wanted to take a day or week off of work for myself, I would have to come back to Quickbooks being all screwed up. The point of this entry/rant is that I'm very unhappy. I need a new life pattern. I'm 21 years old and I feel like I'm 40. I'm too mature. I don't have a part time job while going to school full time like I want. I know in order to make myself happy, I would go to the nurse aide program during the day, excel and do perfect in lecture/clinical, work part time at night to pay my couple of bills, and have more time for myself. For some reason, I'm scared. Maybe I'm scared it will be the wrong choice. What if a career in healthcare isn't what I want?
All of these questions ponder in my mind and I have no friends to talk to because none of them are in this situation. I've asked my parents for their advice and they say "do what makes you happy." But I feel like if I went to day school and worked a minimum wage job at night, they would feel like I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm disappointing them for some reason. I want to make my parents proud, but I also want to be happy. It's not like I would quit my job and just sleep all day and do nothing with my life. Continuing my education has always been my top priority since my very first semester of community college. I just don't know........
The main thing I've been telling myself to realize is what I'm getting the nurse aide certification for. It's so I can work in healthcare and be moving constantly and also to help people. So I don't plan on staying here forever and the program only takes a couple of months. So what I'm trying to decide is whether or not to stick it out until I get certified or take the nurse aide course during the day and work somewhere at night just to get by.
I've written before that if I continue to work full time during the day my lecture and clinical hours would be from 4:30 p.m. until 9:30 p.m. That means I wouldn't get home until about 10 p.m. and I would still have to shower, get ready for bed, work, etc. And it will take longer to get certified since it only 3 days a week. Then there is the other alternative. They offer a course Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. That would be better so I could shower and get ready for my evening job (if I find one). And I would also become certified faster.
As you can see, making decisions is not easy for me. I don't want to leave here and not be able to pay my bills with a night job. But I'm also tired of sitting on my ass all day and only talking to people over the phone. I look on Craigslist for an ideal job that would work with my schedule if I went to day school. As long as I can make money to pay my phone bill and put gas in my car, then I need to do what makes me happy. I tried to take off work today so I could get my car worked on and have some time to myself but of course my boss acts like that can't happen.
The issue with my job is the fact that no one knows how to work Quickbooks properly. So if I wanted to take a day or week off of work for myself, I would have to come back to Quickbooks being all screwed up. The point of this entry/rant is that I'm very unhappy. I need a new life pattern. I'm 21 years old and I feel like I'm 40. I'm too mature. I don't have a part time job while going to school full time like I want. I know in order to make myself happy, I would go to the nurse aide program during the day, excel and do perfect in lecture/clinical, work part time at night to pay my couple of bills, and have more time for myself. For some reason, I'm scared. Maybe I'm scared it will be the wrong choice. What if a career in healthcare isn't what I want?
All of these questions ponder in my mind and I have no friends to talk to because none of them are in this situation. I've asked my parents for their advice and they say "do what makes you happy." But I feel like if I went to day school and worked a minimum wage job at night, they would feel like I'm not trying hard enough or that I'm disappointing them for some reason. I want to make my parents proud, but I also want to be happy. It's not like I would quit my job and just sleep all day and do nothing with my life. Continuing my education has always been my top priority since my very first semester of community college. I just don't know........
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