Wishing, Hoping, Planning
People that have the opportunity to go to school full time and not the opposite have no idea how lucky they are. My new semester started this past Monday and I have already met a few people who only have school as their responsibility. It would be so nice to take classes all day for 4 days a week and just go home every night to study and do homework. For those of you that don't know, I work full time and go to school part time. I also take care of my 92 year old grandma and take my boyfriend everywhere since he still doesn't have his license (I know, don't even get me started). I wish that all I had to do was go to school and not have so many people being dependent on me all the time to do things. I understand that I'm older now, but it would be nice to put myself first for once.
The job I have now is great. It's good money, a nice environment and I have PLENTY of time to do homework. But eventually when I'm accepted into the nursing program, I know that that will have to be my main priority, not a job. The lady at orientation even said it is best to only focus on the program and to not even work PART time. What the hell am I going to do? I have a car, a cell phone, and other things I need to pay. I can't pay them with my looks and sarcasm. I really hope that when the time comes for me to drop my responsibilities and only focus on nursing, that I will have found a job or some type of income to keep my car running at least because that is my only means of transportation.
I have been saving for school for a long time now. It hasn't been much because I have to pay my other obligations first. The minimum I put into my savings every 2 weeks is $25. Yea I know that isn't a lot, but it is better than nothing. Currently I just spent $911.10 on this spring semester and $187 for the textbooks. I rented this semester so I did save money in that aspect. I do any side jobs to make money as well. I plan on having another yard sale at the start of spring so hopefully I will get rid of clutter and at least make enough money to rent a textbook for the summer semester. Planning ahead is something I'm trying to do while I'm already doing it. If I could tell myself what I know now, I would say that the day I got my first job when I was 16 should have been the day I started saving for SOMETHING. Maybe not community college at that time, but at least I should have put money away for something I may have needed in the future which is now. They say you learn from your mistakes and this is one of the biggest I've made in my short life so far.
Now I know I'm not the only person with a situation like this. But I haven't met a 20 year old that has a schedule like me yet. They are all going to school and partying, having fun. While I'm busy acting like a grandma paying bills,watching Jeopardy and doing the same shit different day scenario. When will this end? Why can't I quit my full time and just work part time? Why can't I make myself happy? These are questions I ponder and I think the real reason why I stay with the schedule I have had for the past 3 years is this. I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it making minimum wage 3 days a week. Can I budget myself? Yea. Will it be enough? Who knows. That is what I'm scared of. So why am I bitching about it? Because I feel the need to bitch about it. I'm most likely going to do the same routine everyday until I start nursing school. Then the biggest change in my life will occur. Until then, I'll just be a plain, Jane, 20 year old Grandma.
The job I have now is great. It's good money, a nice environment and I have PLENTY of time to do homework. But eventually when I'm accepted into the nursing program, I know that that will have to be my main priority, not a job. The lady at orientation even said it is best to only focus on the program and to not even work PART time. What the hell am I going to do? I have a car, a cell phone, and other things I need to pay. I can't pay them with my looks and sarcasm. I really hope that when the time comes for me to drop my responsibilities and only focus on nursing, that I will have found a job or some type of income to keep my car running at least because that is my only means of transportation.
I have been saving for school for a long time now. It hasn't been much because I have to pay my other obligations first. The minimum I put into my savings every 2 weeks is $25. Yea I know that isn't a lot, but it is better than nothing. Currently I just spent $911.10 on this spring semester and $187 for the textbooks. I rented this semester so I did save money in that aspect. I do any side jobs to make money as well. I plan on having another yard sale at the start of spring so hopefully I will get rid of clutter and at least make enough money to rent a textbook for the summer semester. Planning ahead is something I'm trying to do while I'm already doing it. If I could tell myself what I know now, I would say that the day I got my first job when I was 16 should have been the day I started saving for SOMETHING. Maybe not community college at that time, but at least I should have put money away for something I may have needed in the future which is now. They say you learn from your mistakes and this is one of the biggest I've made in my short life so far.
Now I know I'm not the only person with a situation like this. But I haven't met a 20 year old that has a schedule like me yet. They are all going to school and partying, having fun. While I'm busy acting like a grandma paying bills,watching Jeopardy and doing the same shit different day scenario. When will this end? Why can't I quit my full time and just work part time? Why can't I make myself happy? These are questions I ponder and I think the real reason why I stay with the schedule I have had for the past 3 years is this. I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it making minimum wage 3 days a week. Can I budget myself? Yea. Will it be enough? Who knows. That is what I'm scared of. So why am I bitching about it? Because I feel the need to bitch about it. I'm most likely going to do the same routine everyday until I start nursing school. Then the biggest change in my life will occur. Until then, I'll just be a plain, Jane, 20 year old Grandma.
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