This Thing Called Life

Happy New Years Eve everyone! I'm so excited because I just paid my tuition for my upcoming semester which starts on January 7th. A few good things will be happening in 2013, most of them will occur in January. I start my new semester, turn 21 and it's the beginning of a new year. What's not to like? Since today is the last official day of 2012, I thought I would write about things I remember from the past year. Some memories may not be as good as others but they are still in my head. These memories are in no particular order and I'm typing them as they appear in my mind: I got into 2 accidents. One guy hit my passenger side because he wasn't paying attention due to him talking on his cell phone. The other happened because an idiot decided to run a stop sign right after looking me dead in the face. He even admitted to the police he saw me but kept going! Glad this is in the past. Watch out for other idiot drivers! I volunteered more than ever. I did a fundraiser...

Even though the new year is still 5 days away, I have already started on some of my goals. I almost have $200 saved up for my wisdom teeth removal, I'm slowly introducing my body to my elliptical  again and I have been drinking a lot of water. I saw this awesome idea on Tumblr. It was a poster board that someone wrote their goals on and I plan on doing that as well. I feel like I will be more likely to achieve my goals if I write them down and can see them on a daily basis instead of writing them somewhere on paper and losing it due to my disorganization. Since I am off this whole week for Christmas, I decided to also go ahead and get some things ready for my next semester of college. I set up my planner and labeled my notebooks for each class. I need to get binder tabs for my different classes since I plan on using one binder for all classes instead of one binder for each. For the first time in a long time I think I'm excited for a new year and what is has in store. Getting an...

Today is my last full day of work for a week. And I'm sure it will be SLOW as ever. During my week off I plan to accomplish a few things, and organizing my room is the main one. I have stuff everywhere. The Christmas presents are understandable. I can't put them under the tree because my dogs will open them (weird I know, they are like children). Other things I plan on getting done is fixing my passenger window in my car, getting my hair trimmed and possibly adding colors, and preparing myself for the new year and a new semester of college! I know I talk about that a lot in my blog postings but I can't help it. I really love going to school and working my way towards a great career. I'm hoping this break will also allow me to catch up on sleep and relaxation since I have been stressing about so many things at once. The presents I got for everyone should make them happy. I bought gifts that reminded me of people, if that makes sense. I didn't go over my budget for gi...

Last night I got back on my elliptical for the first time in months. Even though I only lasted 9 minutes, it's still a start. I am going to slowly work my way back up to riding it for an hour with ease. During the weekdays I have decided I will alternate between riding my elliptical and doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. I know your supposed to do the shred for 30 days consecutively but I want to change up my routines. Earlier this week I also finished all of Christmas shopping! I'm glad I got everything done when I did because I have noticed that traffic on the roads and in shopping centers has increased A LOT. The other thing that makes me feel good is that my textbooks for next semester came Monday :) I can't wait to go back. Going to college makes me feel great about myself. It shows me how motivated I am to have an actual career someday instead of working a dead beat minimum wage job for ever. Plus I like learning. I always have. I'm the type of person that w...

I don't know why I quit riding my elliptical, doing the 30 Day Shred and eating healthier. It could have been stress or just the fact that I was tired of giving my all and not seeing the results I wanted. I felt better when I worked out and ate healthy foods. I am still down the 7 pounds I lost and I haven't gained them back but that is nowhere near my 32 pound weight loss goal. I feel like I have failed myself. Do I hate the person I see in the mirror? No. Do I like the person? No. I still need to lose this weight though. I should have never given up in the first place because by now, I could have been close, at, or over my goal. I realize I'm not morbidly obese or massively overweight but when I look in the mirror I see all of my fat flaws. My thighs jiggle when I walk and when I sit down, they get even bigger. I have arm fat. I have a muffin top. The list with my body issues can go on and on. I've always been a big girl and maybe that is how I'm supposed to stay....

 I am seriously one of the most stressed out 20 year olds I've ever met. I have a lot of things that need to get done but working ALL the time, especially during the day when this stuff should be done, makes it nearly impossible! I need an oil change and I was going to leave early from work to make it to the shop on time but since my boss has to go to a job and no one will be here to watch the office, I have to go on my lunch break. Going on my lunch break means that I will have to eat on the way and be late coming back due to traffic and the wait time. My passenger window is still broken due to the fact that the part I need is almost vanished completely and no one anywhere has it. I hate looking at the tape on my window and hearing my door rattle since the panel is off. On top of all of this, I still have a heaping mound of Christmas crap in my room that I was hopefully going to sell at my yard sale last weekend, but like usual it rained! I'm trying again this weekend and if t...

I know it is only the beginning of December but I want to go ahead and list my goals for the new year of 2013. I'm going to use the word goals instead of resolutions, one because it is shorter and two the word resolution means that I can or cannot change what I want and a goal will leave me no choice but to change or reach what I want. Here is my list in no particular order: Get my wisdom teeth ripped out. My dental insurance sucks, so I have to pay about $1000 out of pocket. This is something I have been slowly saving for but I plan to have it done at some point in 2013. Make EXCELLENT grades in the upcoming 2013 semesters. I want no grades lower than a "B". Finally get the Canon T3i Rebel that I have also been trying to save up for.  Get my belly button pierced. I'm a chicken. Buy a new transmission for my car. The one I have now isn't terrible or anything yet, but I want to be prepared for when it does break down. Keep saving money for community colle...

For those of you that don't know by now, I have worked at the same boat service yard for 3 years. I started right after I graduated from high school. I really like it. The pay is good, the people I work with are great and I get weekends off. However, there are two main issues I run into with customers. The first issue that drives me nuts is when customers are rude and snotty for no reason. Who pissed in your Wheaties? I always try to be nice even when they have an attitude with me for no reason at all but sometimes it's hard not to lose it. The other issue is when the customer thinks they know how to do my job or they want to set their own rules and prices for work to be done. My purpose as the office manager/secretary is to inform customers of prices, accept payment and schedule your boat. Trust me, I know what I'm doing, that's why I got this job. If I tell you a price for a paint job and you tell me some guy told you it would only be $500, don't you think I would...

Christmas is in 14 days and I will hopefully be done with all of my shopping this weekend! I get so excited at this time of year because of all of the decorations and lights. It puts me in a great mood. I always have a lot of people do buy for. The biggest thing I always purchase is gift cards, which is a good thing because my wrapping skills need work. I want to do some kind of charity this month for the holidays. I haven't decided if I should bake cookies for the local homeless shelter or maybe try and collect some winter items for them. I did donate some toys to Toys for Tots but I don't feel like that is enough. I wish I had more free time to do more fundraising and charity work. I really love helping those in need. For anyone out there with shopping left to do, good luck and happy shopping!

My next semester of college starts in January and I cannot wait. For the new year I won't be making too many resolutions because I'm happy with my life at the moment. The only things I really want to work on in the new year is to get back in shape and start exercising and stuff again. I stopped due to the fact that it stressed me out since I would still worry about how I looked in my clothes and to other people. I stopped caring but it is time to start caring again. For the new year I also want to focus on school. It's not like I wasn't focused on it before but I want to make EXCELLENT grades and even if I don't like the classes I must take in order to apply to the nursing program, I will still pretend I do so that they aren't as miserable. And as always, I want to keep putting money into my savings for school to avoid taking out loans and asking the parentals. Nothing makes me more proud than to brag about how I paid for my school out of my own money instead of...

      I haven't written in a while. Mostly because I have been trying to find other FREE blogging sites where I can still earn some extra money for college. I really like this website because the layout is so simple. It sucks they are taking away the ads. Even though I'm only earning a couple cents each month from my blog, it's better than nothing. Plus I love writing for my readers.      The other day I went ahead and decided to plan out the rest of my semesters for community college since I will continue working full time. I will be taking these pre-req courses until 2014. But I'm glad I planned ahead because I'm not stressing over which classes to pick when the time comes. I saved my Anatomy & Physiology classes for last because they are the hardest. The Spring 2013 semester starts in January so I will be taking English 112 and Psy 201. I'm very excited.      It's so weird that I get excited to learn at college be...

     I've realized over the past few weeks that I am beginning to really hate Facebook. If someone isn't starting pointless drama, another person is insulting someone and telling them to jump off a bridge. Why? I want to know why people feel the need to let the world know what they are doing, when they are doing. And why do people have to be so mean and harsh to one another? Honestly for me, I could less that you're high and drunk and hooking up with 10 guys at once. Another thing I HATE seeing is people that get into relationships and after a week of being together they are so in love. Really? A week to fall in love with one another? And then you wonder why it never works out. Maybe it's because you rush into things. I will admit that some of my posts are pointless just like everyone else, but for the most part my postings are about fundraisers I'm involved in or about college.      It's pretty clear to my readers by now that I have no friends. ...

     So to pass some time at work since the weather is gloomy and the phone lines are dead, I decided to go on YouTube and watch some documentaries. The first one I watched was the infamous Super Size Me and after I watched Food, Inc . Why did I get the urge to watch this two movies? Well the first factor is how bad the food is for humans now days and how it effects our health. The second is to see how drastic the food industry has changed over the last few decades. The food sizes have become bigger due to animal growth processes and the antibiotics and other chemicals injected into the animals, fruits and veggies. Imagine what all of this is doing to our insides. I now see why cancer is so much more abundant. We eat tons of chemicals everyday and it honestly grosses me out.      Growing up, I did have fast food and I'm not blaming my parents for my weight issues because it was my choice to say I wanted some McDonalds chicken nuggets. However, n...

     The phrase "Same shit, different day" couldn't be more true. I am truly starting to see why some people live so recklessly and do some pretty crazy shit. It's because they don't want to live a dull life like 85% of the rest of Americans. It gets so old doing the same routine 5 days a week and my weekends are consisted of nothing but sleeping and cleaning since I have no friends. I wish January wasn't so far away. I have never been more ready for such a big change in my life. Even though I have had no luck finding a part time job that will fit with my school schedule, I will make it through. I have no choice. Nursing school is so important to me. And the best thing that I have gotten out of my community college experience, is the fact that I have NEVER relied on my parents for money to attend.      Paying my own way through college has made me realize that money is no joke and failing is not an option. In the few semesters I attended college,...

     Celebrities and other people who make millions and billions have no idea how lucky they are. They will never have any financial stress unless they completely waste that money and do dumb stuff with it. Most of them though, have more money than they could spend in a lifetime. They have no idea how hard it is for "average" people to make ends meet by working a job or multiple jobs, instead of a great paying career.I do appreciate those celebrities and CEOS who are passionate for certain causes and organizations, especially when they create their own to help people out, like bullying or cancer. But for those celebrities who spend $15,000 on a dress or leave a bar/night club with a $100,000 tab, think about what "average" people could do with that money. To them, that money is nothing, to me and other average joes, that it just like winning the lottery. It must be a great feeling to wake up and not have to stress about how they will pay the light bill or put food o...

     Happy October 1st! It is is the month where pumpkins are carved out and placed on porches and hot chocolate is the beverage of choice. There are many things I love about fall, especially in October. The first thing being that the leaves start falling and they are changed from green to really pretty oranges and reds. Another thing I love about it turning colder is the fact that the main rush of tourists are gone. My mothers birthday is this month and also Halloween! Halloween for some people means going all out with decorations and scaring the crap out of people, and for others it just means you can get away with eating as much candy as you please. I choose to do both. Halloween is the one day a year you can become anyone or anything you want and no one can/should judge you! It's all about the fun.      As most of you know, I am very involved in fundraisers and volunteering. I thought I would take the time to remind you all (especially ladies) tha...

     I'm still saving as much money as possible so that I can start school full time in January. I look online everyday while I'm at work for a part time job and to be honest, if the job market continues to look the way it does now, I'm screwed come January. The hardest part is finding a place that will let me work with them a few nights a week while still working full time at my day job. My new schedule in January will be COMPLETELY different than the one I have now. Mondays and Wednesdays I will have school all day pretty much until about 4 p.m. Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will have my labs for Anatomy and Microbiology. Then on Fridays and maybe Saturdays, I plan on working to get a little more money if the company that decides to hire me will work with that schedule. I have never served and would love to try it since you can make great tips but all of the places I'm interested in want experienced servers so that it out. I would also love to work at Walmart or...

I haven't worked out to Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred in over a month. I don't know if it was because I started college again or if I just decided to let myself go and not care anymore. I haven't gained the weight I've lost back again, but I haven't lost any more either. In my head, I feel like I'm just built and made to be bigger than other people. I've dieted, exercised and worked my ass off to lose weight and nothing has really happened. I know you can't expect to drop 15 pounds in 2 weeks (in a healthy way) but I expected to lose a lot more than I did. I think my lack of motivation for working out may be coming from the fact that I'm burnt out. I'm tired of the same shit every day. I wake up, go to work, sit all day, go home, eat dinner, watch some tv, then go to sleep. Nothing exciting is happening in my life. Nursing school is truly the only thing I have to look forward to. Maybe if I had friends it would be different, but I don't so it...

I'm not going to waste my time trying to chill with people anymore because they always come up with some lame ass excuse as to why they can't make it. If you don't want to chill with me, just tell me so that I can stop wasting my time trying to be your friend. I get so angry when I wait around for them to show up or call/text me and it either never happens or they do call and tell me their excuse. Hopefully when I start college full time and get a new job next semester, I will meet some new people who won't bullshit me.  I'm not going to apologize or feel sorry for myself since school, my career and my family are my main priorities. As far as Facebook goes, I'm not posting actual statuses about my life and updating people with what has been going on anymore because if I want you to know or if you care, you are most likely someone I see or talk to on a daily basis in PERSON, not on a computer. I think I may have written this in a previous blog post, but this time...

The nursing information session yesterday told me one thing and that was to keep doing what I'm doing. I've completed the required math classes and now I have 7 other classes that I HAVE to complete in order to apply to the program. They use a point system based on your grades, so the higher grades I make, the more likely I will be accepted. The lady said each semester they choose 64 applicants. They do have a list of alternates each semester in case someone who is chosen cannot start at the time due to life happening. I really hope I will be chosen the first time I apply. All this means for me is that when I start school full time next semester, I have to focus on my grades. I don't want to make anything less than a B in my classes so that I can get a lot of points. On the informational slide, it said that if you need to work, it should be MINIMAL. Do they understand that I will be traveling from a city about 30 minutes away everyday to attend lectures at this campus? I wi...

Today I'm leaving work early to attend an orientation to healthcare at my community college. The only issue I'm having is that the campus is located in another city about 40 minutes away and it is the only campus that offers nursing. I'm really excited about it. With gas prices the way they are, I'm going to need to either move to that city to save money or work closer to the school so that I'm not going to all different cities spending hundreds in gas. I still haven't been accepted into the program since I have all of these other classes to take, but I have always been the type of person who plans ahead. I just want to be more than ready when it is time to cross a new bridge. It always seems like there is an obstacle in the way. Like at community college, you have to take these math essential courses just to take actual math classes like chemistry and stuff. I honestly think it is a way just for colleges to earn money. Anyways, happy hump day people and make th...

I am glad this week is finally over. My Friday has already turned crappy because I forgot to give the delivery the check for last month, so now after work, I have to go all the way to the other side of town and give it to the company in person since they don't make deliveries on Mondays. I'm avoiding Facebook for a while because all people are talking about is football and I'm not a huge fan of sports. I've been studying my ass off for my final unit test next Thursday. I just took the practice one on the class website and I didn't do so hot. If I don't pass the class this time, I will probably stop going to college all together because there is no point in wasting my money on a class that I will just keep failing. The good thing about the teacher I have for this class this semester is that she gives partial credit and points just for showing work and she gave us the descriptions of all 20 questions that will be on the test. She said if we were to fail all 4 word...

          I'm counting down the days I have left sitting in this desk chair. I am so excited to start a new beginning in January. I will probably feel VERY overwhelmed at first when I start college full time, but I know that this is the right thing to do. It has been so long since I have only worked a few days a week. I was like 15 or 16! I hope these 3 months fly by so I can get on with my life. I want to start catering to myself instead of everyone around me. And just a note for immature idiots that will be in my classes, I'm not going to put up with your high school bullshit, ESPECIALLY since I'm paying out of pocket for my classes. If you want to be immature, stay out of college until you're ready to handle it. The only thing I am starting to worry over is where I'm supposed to get a part time job that will work with my school schedule. I could try the malls, but most of the time they just hire for holiday help and then let you go. I real...

          Nursing school is obviously going to be very expensive. But I also need thousands of dollars just to take the co-requisites I have to have just to apply to the program. When I tell people I'm saving every penny, I mean it. Literally, I'm saving every coin and bill I get to go towards school. My biggest goal is to pay completely out of pocket for school or at least as much as possible, that way I don't have to get a loan and if I do, it will be a small one. You're probably wondering why I don't file a FAFSA and get pell grants and such. Well since my I "make to much" money, I only get about $300 from the government and that $300 will only be applied to my costs if I'm enrolled full time, which I can't since I work full time.            My biggest tip for saving is to make sure that school is your priority, not shopping or just wasting money on other things you don't have to have. I ...

Class last night went well. There are only 13 people in my math class. The thing that really sucks it that the class I'm re-taking is taught with a different curriculum this semester so I had to buy a new access code to use the e-book online. It was $122.85. I find that a bit ridiculous. I know I'm buying the book (technically) but it's all online and if I print papers out, that is my money being used not theirs. Anyways, I am going to study my butt off so that I don't have to re-take this course AGAIN. The good thing is that these essential classes don't go towards my GPA so I still have a 3.0 :)

Even though I'm only going to be starting my second semester, I have already thought of a few things that make community college better than a University. But don't get me wrong, there are some things that just won't measure up to the actual college "experience" that you would get by going to a University. The Good: Flexible Schedules. They offer Days, Nights and Weekends The cost. You can spend $30,000 on your entire education plus your degree, instead of a University where just one year will cost that much or more You can pay as you go. You don't need to have all of your tuition before your start classes. Every time I mention that I am the one paying for my education all by myself, it makes me feel AWESOME. If you go to a local community college, you will know your way around since your a local and there will most likely be people you know in your classes as well The Bad: No dorms or parties, so you won't get that actual college "exp...

I'm very angry at the fact that I've wasted almost 3 years of my life working all the time instead of going to school full time like I wanted. I just found out I have a whole entire list of classes I have to take before I even want to consider applying to nursing school. This is a total set back! I know I have wrote about this before and complained how I want to act like a 20 year old instead of a 40 year old, but damn! Each semester I waste all of this time taking ONE class instead of taking like 4-6 classes to go towards nursing school. This sucks and I'm so mad I want to cry. I don't need to work full time and make the money I'm making (although it is very nice to have extra money to buy whatever I want). I should be focused on school and making good grades so that I can get accepted into nursing and start learning all of the hands on stuff. I guess I'm angry for wasting time and money and not acting like a typical 20 year old, who just goes to school and wor...

I started collecting aluminum cans months ago in an effort to get more money for my college education. Some people laugh at me but I don't really care. At least I'm helping to clean mother earth and earn some extra cash. Of course, the prices vary per pound in each state, but if you make a good effort to collect a lot, it can amount to a lot of money into your pocket. With this came my idea to help other people who want to further their education who can't afford it. The charity would be named Cans for College and there would be drop off sites for people to donate their cans. Then after the cans were turned in for money, the money would be given to people who need it. There is nothing more frustrating than when someone wants to go to college and cannot go because it is too expensive and they cannot afford it. I hope one day I can make this charitable dream a reality. Trust me, I'm in this boat now. I would love to have experienced the dorm life and have money my parents...

I ponder this question everyday. The original "purpose" was so that people could reconnect with friends and family and stay in touch. All I ever see on my Facebook feed is bitching, complaining, drama, how high/drunk people are and so on. The way I see it, if someone was really my friend, they would call, text and hang out with me on a regular basis, not like some of my pictures and statuses, say they want to chill, and then bullshit me. I post articles and fundraisers that I find interesting, I don't tag my toilet in a status while I'm using the bathroom. I think this whole social media thing has gotten out of hand. It is stupid. People that are neighbors won't walk outside to talk to each other but they will have full conversations on Facebook statuses. My point is that if people really cared about what went on in my life, they would be involved in my life face to face with me, not on my Facebook. I don't think people who could care less about me deserve to ...

The other day when I stepped on the scale, I weighed in at 151 lbs. I'm not complaining because this is the first time I've actually been getting results from eating better and exercising more. I have noticed that my portion control and self control are a lot better and stronger. I don't get tempted by sweets like I used to every other time I tried to lose weight. I've been mixing up exercise routines just because riding my elliptical got very boring. I ride my bike or walk around the neighborhood.  My new goals for August are as follows: Weigh in a 143 lbs at the end of the month Save more money for nursing school Make a good grade in Chemistry class Encourage someone to make a healthier eating choice. 

I start Chemistry this fall at community college so that I can apply to  a University nursing school. I have set some academic goals for myself this semester. Even though I suck at math, I really want to try and excel in Chemistry so that when I take college Chemistry, I will kind of know what I'm doing. My academic goals are as follows: Have at LEAST a "B" average  STUDY Never miss a class Ask for help when I need it Be interested in it, since I will be taking it for a whole semester Enjoy it, Learning is FUN Do not fail this class. It will show up on my transcripts :/ I never took Chemistry in high school and Algebra and I do not get along. But I believe in myself and I want to go to nursing school so bad that I know I can achieve these goals as long as I put my mind to it.

I have been working full time at the job I'm currently at for about 2 years now. The pay is great and so are my co-workers. But why did I choose to work full time after high school? No one told me I had to work almost everyday. I guess I chose to take the job because at the time I needed a better one with better pay. When it came time to register for some community college classes, I knew I would have to go part time because of my work schedule. Which is what I did since I wanted to apply to a nursing program at Sentara. I did very well during my first semester and made decent grades. Yesterday evening I went to an informational session about Hampton University's Nursing School. I loved what the adviser talked about. It made me so excited and I would rather go there since it is closer. But since that program was under revision, Chemistry is REQUIRED. I never took any AP classes or any other types of classes in high school that would eventually transfer over to a college. I suck...

For the record, I do not have any issues with super skinny or super big people, but this is just something that I see and it kind of bothers me. I see a lot of pictures on the internet, in magazines, and on t.v commercials with all of these really skinny girls. But what about "big" girls who aren't made to be a size 2 or 00? Not every girl in the world is attractive without curves  and to some people girls with curves are gross. Who came up with the idea that being skinny is the only way to be accepted by society? Whatever happened to meeting someone and deciding to be-friend them by their personality or character instead of their weight? I'm saying all of this because my weight loss goal is absolutely NOT becoming a size 2 or even a 5 for that matter. When I lose all of this unnecessary weight, I want to be a 9, maybe even a 7. But I want to keep my ass and my boobs. I was never ashamed of being the size I was/still am, I just wanted to be fit and healthy. I've a...

I know one of my goals this month wasn't to weigh in until the last week or day, but I really wanted to know if I had made any progress at all. I haven't. It is because I binge. The other day my boyfriend and I went to red lobster...that was dumb. But I didn't even really eat that much. I got the popcorn shrimp with broccoli and side salad. I ate all the salad, almost all of the broccoli, and there were tons of shrimps left over. There have been other days too. I don't know why I think it's okay to eat this crap when I'm trying to LOSE weight. I'm so excited about nursing school, maybe that is why I'm eating all of these no-no foods. It may also be because I have stopped exercising as much as I want to. I wanted to start jogging or going to the gym, but I would have to go by myself and I don't want to look weird or anything jogging all alone. Plus I don't want to get snatched up by some creep. I was so determined to have some one go ...

I go to open house for nursing school in 8 days! I am so excited to have such a positive change in my life. Later this week I will be having a yard sale to hopefully make some money to put towards school. I've been saving here and there for a little while because I knew I would need money for community college, so since I'm transferring from there I will use that money too. The more I save and pay out of pocket, the better. Loans scare me but that is the only way to go since I'm not rich and neither are my parents. My only obstacle left to over come is finding a decent part time that pays pretty well and that will work with my schedule. I have always loved retail so maybe I can find a job at the mall or something. I would love to try serving or be a waitress but most places want people who are experienced. Luckily for me, I have barely any bills. I have to pay my phone bill, credit card bill, and have money for gas and car repairs. That's it. Thankfully my parents don...

Last night my brother offered to take me to Planet Fitness for the first time ever. I was like sure okay. So we got ready and when we pulled into the parking lot we drove by to see how crowded it was inside. As usual my self esteem issues got the best of me. I chickened myself out of going and I think my brother was angry, which is understandable. But he is built. He isn't bigger like me. We went home and I rode my elliptical for 30 minutes. After, I cried. I don't know if I cried because I was angry for not going in there or if I cried because I felt like giving up, or both. I put up this front to everyone around me like I don't care what people think of me, but obviously deep down I do. I guess I was scared that those thin, fit girls running on the treadmills would have looked at me like I was a cow or like I wasn't going to do good. I don't know. What I do know, is that I need to get over my fear of people judging me and go in there and exercise like a...

I ordered my work out shoes that I wanted oh so badly from Kohls. I hope they fit nicely. Since the Tumblr community I follow for weight loss has decided that there will be NO weighing in this month, I have had to keep myself occupied since I'm used to weighing myself at least twice a week. I hope that by not weighing in on a daily basis that my results will be better. This weekend I plan on chilling on the beach and maybe getting some exercise by riding my bike around for a while. I had about half of a Taco Bell Veggie Cantina Bowl yesterday and to my surprise I just didn't want to continue eating it. It was good, I just felt like crap eating it. I do not miss fast food at all. I am perfectly fine without it and I hope to continue not eating it in the ways that I used too.

I finally reached my first weight loss goal that I made for myself. I lost 5 pounds, so this means at some point this weekend, my belly button will be pierced! I'm so glad to have finally achieved this goal. There was one point where I would lose 3 pounds and gain them back. I think I'm finally at the point in my new lifestyle where the weight I work off will stay off. Small changes to your daily eating habits really make a HUGE difference. The biggest thing that has helped me keep going and wanting to reach more weight loss is the support from everyone. My mom is my biggest supporter along with my Tumblr family. I am so happy to see these small results! I can't wait to lose more. 5 down, 25 more to go :)

The shorts I'm wearing today actually fit comfortably instead of digging into my muffin top and leaving lines on my thighs after sitting. Also this morning when I weighed in, I lost another pound!! Only one more pound to go until I get my belly button pierced (my weight loss gift to myself). My total weight loss so far is 4 pounds and I seem to be keeping it off. I made a list of things I'm going to buy at Walmart tonight. Watermelon is the very first thing! That is definitely my favorite summer fruit. Plus I love cucumbers too so they are on my list as well. I have some new followers on my Tumblr and it is great because we are a support system for one another. I like having positive minded people around me that tell me they are proud of my new life style changes.

The first thing I've noticed since I've changed my eating habits is that I actually care about what is in the foods my peers and I eat. If I'm with someone and they pick up a food item that I know has tons of empty calories or a lot of sugars etc, I say something. I don't hesitate to call someone out on their poor food choices. I do not do this to be mean, I just say it because I think it is important for them to know what they are actually eating. I've said this before, but I feel so much better not eating any crap food (fast food). I feel like my body on the inside thanks me for not eating that garbage and not harming my organs and gaining more body fat. Water has been more proficient in my life as well.  The most important thing that I have noticed is that I try to educate and inspire others who are overweight or obese to get fit/healthy too! I try to encourage them to make small changes to their diets and take baby steps. If they eat fast food 5 days a week, I t...

Here is my newest weight loss vlog. I made it last night and had to upload it at work this morning since my internet at home sucks. Enjoy :)

Since my Locks of Love journey is over (Big thank you to everyone who followed me through it) I thought I would share my weight loss journey with you guys as well :)

My weight is still fluctuating. I will lose 4 pounds and then gain them back. This week I'm going to ride my elliptical for at 20 minutes Monday-Thursday since I go to my dads house on weekends. I am going to avoid stepping on the scale for a while. On the inside I still feel great because I still haven't been drinking soda or eating fast food. My main thing is keeping up with exercising. I have noticed that my shorts fit a little looser and my shirts aren't as tight as usual. This will be a long process. My mom did the same thing a few years ago and she says the first year is the hardest. I wish losing weight was just as easy as putting it on.

Here is my Locks of Love video! I feel so good about donating my hair and I will definitely be doing it again someday!!

I completely agree with it. Soda is nothing but sugar water with a bunch of other artificial crap inside of it. Having a small soda here and there is acceptable but there is honestly no need for someone to be able to fill a gallon cup up with soda at a 7-11. I am overweight but I'm changing. I understand now that soda is not good for you at all and I do believe it helps aid in creating obesity, diabetes and other health problems associated with being overweight. This is a step in the right direction. If people started living healthier and losing weight, maybe people that receive benefits that don't need them just because they are overweight can be taken away and given to someone who actually needs them. It angers me that people use the "I'm overweight" excuse. Instead of riding in a motorized scooter at Walmart, WALK. Let the little 90 year old lady with brittle bones use the scooter. America has let the junk food, fast food and unhealthy foods situation get way t...

So last Friday when I went into the hair salon to get my haircut for Locks of Love, I got nervous. Not because of cutting my hair, but where I was cutting it. For 20 years my mom has been the only person cutting my hair since she is a licensed cosmetologist. I've never been to a salon for anything! But the experience was so awesome and I felt great for donating my hair to a great cause. I ended up donating 2 ponytails that were 12 inches long. I definitely plan on growing my hair out and donating it again. It makes me feel like such a good person and everyone thinks my new haircut is too cute! The next time though, I want to donate 14 inches or more. It will be kinda hard, but the more hair I donate the better.

After work today, I will officially be cutting my hair off for Locks of Love! I am so excited because I haven't had a hair cut in forever, plus it is starting to get hot outside so I need shorter hair. This cause is such an easy way to give back to people who aren't fortunate to have hair. I will donate my hair until I cannot do so any longer, which hopefully will be for a very long time! I'm going to post a video to my YouTube channel when I get it cut and stuff so stay tuned!

In order to help me completely delete fast food from my life, I have "un-friended" or "un-liked" every fast food chain from my Facebook page. Keeping them on there wouldn't have helped because they offer coupons and remind of you of buy 2 get 1 free or 2 for $2 sales. I'm glad I deleted them and I recommend others trying to eliminate it to do so as well. I don't even think about fast food anymore unless someone mentions it. Since the beginning of the year, I have to say that as far as I have come, I'm very proud of myself. I've finally realized that losing weight for me will take baby steps and some time, but I have already completed the biggest step which was quitting fast food and soda completely. I feel better about myself and I hope to work out more than I do now. Summer is right around the corner and I am no where near my goal. I just wish some things were easier.

I'm still fat. I know I shouldn't be expecting super results because I'm not working out as much as I would like to or should be, but I also didn't expect to still weigh the same after changing my eating habits completely. I'm depressed because I look on Tumblr at these really pretty skinny girls and in my head I know I could have a body that looked awesome. I have no self confidence at all and I feel like curling up in a ball, into a black hole to cry and yell. I'm disappointed because I expected more out of myself. I told myself that I would work out at least 3 nights a week and I haven't been doing it. I'm angry at myself because I know I can do it. I know I could be a size 7 or 9 because that is what I want. Anything I want to achieve is possible with the right amount of will power. I'm also angry because when I look in the mirror I still see a fat girl who eats her feelings and still has jiggly thighs and a muffin top. I want this so bad and it ...

May 26th is 10 days away and I can't tell you guys how excited I am to cut my hair off for some beautiful bald people! I really need a change and Locks of Love is such a great cause for great people battling a horrible disease. Please encourage anyone you know with long natural hair to donate it to Locks of Love, Wigs for Kids or Pantene Beautiful Lengths. Helping those in your community and around the world is the best thing you could ever do! I will be making a video of the pony tail cut and my new do so be ready!

Since I work all day at a desk, sitting gets boring VERY quickly. Since I am on a eat healthy/lose some weight kick, I thought I would share with you some workouts/stretches that I do when the office is dead. First thing is wall sits. I try to hold it for at least a minute, take a quick break and do it again. After that, I do lunges. 15 reps on each leg.Squats will work too. If I get super bored I will pace around the office or clean.As far as stretches go, I will do things like reach for the floor or ceiling, pull my foot behind my back, and do side stretches reaching for the wall.  Burning some calories is better than burning none. I feel a lot better after doing this too. I only recommend you do things like this if you don't have a lot of people around or if you don't care who sees that is cool too. As for me, boaters might think I'm weird if they walk in to check in and I'm doing squats or wall sits.

I've recently been debating whether or not to attend the CNA program at my community college. If I become a CNA, then my foot will be in the medical field door and I could always work as one while saving up and finishing my other prerequisites for Sentara. Financial Aid doesn't cover this program because it is a small amount of credits, So I would have to pay out of pocket. I think I have decided that I will do it after the summer semester ends. The job where I am at now is good, I get good money and the environment is nice because it is on the water. But there is no room for advancement and my pay will never be raised. Working as a CNA will help me develop skills I will need and use as a RN. I have had the same work pattern since I graduated from high school in 2010. I get up Monday through Friday at 6:30 to get ready for work. I work all day from 8-4. I am ready for a change. Hopefully I can find a job as a CNA after I'm certified that will work with me while I still atte...

There are some women in Hollywood that have helped mold me into who I am and there is one who is near and dear to my heart. The first person I will start off with is Lady Gaga. She is weird, likes to wear meat dresses, and has crazy hair dos all the time.She also has a great voice. She has taught me that there is nothing wrong with being me. Acting as yourself no matter who you are around is how it always should be. Lady Gagas song "Born This Way" is possibly the best song I've ever heard because it is so true. The next lady I look up to is Nicki Minaj. I will be honest. At first I thought she was really weird and wore the clothes and wigs for attention. But then I realized she is really just one bad bitch. She taught me that demanding respect from other people is perfectly okay and you get the type of respect you give. She has multiple personalities that has helped her career sky rocket. Her lyrics are about real life situations (most of the time) and I like the fact tha...

 This book is awesome, especially for anyone who wants to stop eating fast food or keepfast food incorporated in their diet. (Warning: I say "Um" a lot, it has always been a bad habit of mine but I'm workin on it!) Eat This not That 2012

For a 20 year old, I must say that I am VERY mature, sometimes too mature. I pay most of my bills by myself and I am very independent. Rarely ever do I rely on someone. I really want to make good grades at community college and transfer to Sentara College of Health Sciences for their Traditional BSN program so that I can become an RN. Reaching this goal is very important to me. I want to be successful so that eventually, when I have a family of my own, we can be financially stable. I don't want to become a registered nurse for the paycheck. Yes, the pay and job outlook look great for this career field, but I am mainly doing it because I LOVE helping people. I love volunteering and raising money for charities. Registered nursing will give me the opportunity to help others get better. The job will be hard and demanding at times, but it will all be worth it. I wish I could skip all of these prerequisites and go straight into the hands on part! I want to inspire others to take on caree...

For the record, I am straight. I have NOTHING against gays, bi's or transgendered people. The people who voted for this ban on marriage need to open their minds and be more optimistic. People are people regardless of race, sexual preference, weight size or whatever. We should ALL be treated equally and have the same rights. I have had a few friends that like men and women or just one or the other and let me tell you, it didn't make me love them any less. I think that if 2 women or 2 men want to be married, then so be it. It isn't like I have to be there to watch (although if invited, I gladly would). I think a big issue in this country is that everyone is so concerned about everyone else and their business that they don't focus on themselves and leave others alone. Also another issue about gay marriage is "morals". Since everyone is different and doesn't have the same morals and/or beliefs,  technically nothing can be declared right or wrong. They should l...

I love to snack. When I decided to try and be fit and eat healthier, I knew I would have to cut out my favorite potato chips, buttery popcorn, and snickers bars. At first, leaving my favorite snacks behind was hard. I would crave them constantly and sometimes, I would  even give in. But I started buying more health conscious snacks at the stores. My dad air popped some popcorn for me months and months ago and now, that is the only popcorn I will eat. It is lighter and it isn't drenched in artery clogging butter and oils. As far as potato chips go, I rarely EVER have any and when I do, I go for baked or kettle cooked. If I buy a small bag from 7-11, I only eat about half and save the rest as a snack for the next day. If I buy the big bags, I will put two handfuls into little baggies as my portions. I am a chocoholic. Anything with chocolate, I will eat it. Every once in a while I will buy a Snickers bar or Hershey with Almonds bar. I try to eat half and save the other for the next d...

I came across this video this morning on my Tumblr feed. They are so adorable and they made my Tuesday morning a lot happier!

Last night my brother joined me in some jump roping. My legs are kind of sore today from it, so something must have worked. The handles are weighted (1 pound) so maybe I will lose my arm flubber too. I keep little baggies of nuts and Special K bars hidden in my purse in case of a snack attack. I would much rather eat one of those instead of potatoe chips or french fries. I'm not dieting and eating healthier to be skinny, I'm doing it to be healthy and fit. I think it's gross when you can count someone's ribs. I want to keep my curves, but lose my fat.

For some strange reason, a huge thing I am obsessed with is Cupcakes. I don't know what it is. I love baking them, decorating them, collecting them and anything else that involves them. If you ever want to make my day 1,000 times better, bring me a cupcake or anything associated with them. Another thing I am overly obsessed with is leopard and zebra print. I have always like zebra but leopard became part of it too. I just love the print for some reason. My car even has a zebra steering wheel cover and seat covers. Penguins. They are cute, short and make weird noises. I love them. Don't ask me what it is I love about them I just love them. Same goes with turtles, especially sea turtles. As I write this, I feel like a weirdo. These obsessions are better than drugs or alcohol, but it still makes me feel weird that anytime I see a cupcake or turtle I get all giddy with excitement and I just have to have them!

I finally bought another jump rope yesterday. I want to try and jump rope for 30 minutes straight. Burning 11 calories a minute isn't so bad. If you jump rope for an hour straight, you can burn up to 660 calories, which for me is half my daily calorie intake. Burning some calories is better than burning none and I want to better this summer than I did last year. Hopefully I can lose at least 15 pounds before summer. And even if I only lose 10, I will still be happy knowing that I made some progress.

The other day when I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained back the weight I lost, I was so angry. I have completely changed my eating habits and I know that I can do this. I want a good looking body more than anything. I'm so tired of being self conscious when I'm walking, wondering if people are watching my thighs jiggle or looking at how fat my ass is. My ultimate goal is to wear and walk around in just my bikini not worrying about how I look. People that have fast metabolisms that burn food as soon as they eat it are lucky. They have no idea how it feels to shop for certain types of clothes to cover areas that make you feel like a whale. I have never been comfortable with my body and for once in my life I want to say "Damn I look good." I know that it is going to be hard work, but it will definitely be worth it once I reach my goal. Plus I really want my belly button pierced. I had lost 3 pounds and gained it. I was so close to losing the 5 I had said I h...

I have kind of given up. I have no time for the gym/working out like I want to. I still try to make better choices on my foods and portion sizes. It gets annoying when you try so hard to lose some weight and then when you step on the scale, you either didn't lose any or you lost 2 or 3 pounds at the most. I wish after exercising and eating right results were instant. It makes me feel hopeless when I try so hard and get no where. Maybe there is something wrong with my thyroid gland or something. I rarely ever eat junk food. The other day I bought the small bag of flaming hot Cheetos from 7-11 and I snacked on them for 3 days. If I was my old self, (which I'm trying not to be again), I would have eaten the whole bag as soon as I bought it. I honestly hate my body. I always try to encourage everyone to love themselves but I'm truly unhappy with the way I look. When I look at my disgusting legs and fat stomach I want to cry. But I know crying won't shed the flab. For onc...

May 26 couldn't come any sooner! I am so ready to cut my hair for Locks of Love. I haven't had a haircut in years. My mom trims my hair every now and then and sometimes I just want to tell her to cut it all off and we will send it now. I don't exactly know why I chose the 26 of May as my cut off date. I guess that is a good time right before summer starts. I plan to alternate between donations. This year, I will give my hair to Locks of Love, and the next time I grow it out to cut will be for Wigs for Kids. I really encourage anyone who has all natural hair to donate to these causes. It gives someone their confidence back and it is better than your hair being thrown in the trash. The minimum length is 10 inches for layered hair which is what I have. Last time I measured, my longest layer was 13 inches. I thought I would cry or be nervous when I cut it, but I'm to the point now where I'm just over my hair because it is so long. I can't wait!

First off, I know it is hard. Saying ” I’m going on a diet” is easier said than done. For the new year 2012, My resolution was to lose weight. I didn’t want to lose it super quick because I knew with work and school, it wouldn’t happen. I made slow, day to day changes and I think it is working well for me and i hope it works for you. The very first thing I did was eliminate all sodas and fast food. After the first couple weeks, I felt like a new person. I had more energy, felt healthier and saved money. I fought the urges by telling myself how bad it was for me and what it would do to my body and heart. Exercising is something I rarely have enough time for but I try to do it as much as possible. I made simple changes to my habits. I work in an office so every hour, I try to walk around the building and be mobile. I also started parking further from the door at stores. Walking is very beneficial to your heart and health. A year ago, I put an elliptical on layway. After s...